Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
