Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
