she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
