this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
