they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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