There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
