Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
