This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
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If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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