YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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