ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
