You can't motorboat a personality
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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