Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
