He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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