I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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