i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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