brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
