I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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