I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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