Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
