Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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