i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Randomize
