bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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