Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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