ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
