we have officially lost it.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
