Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize