Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
