You really coming over, don't trick.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
