How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
