I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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