And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
