Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
