checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize