Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
