Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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