You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
