I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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