Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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