Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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