Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
