Will you blow on my dice?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
