He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
