perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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