I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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