My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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