Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
