I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The power of my boobs compel you
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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