I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
