paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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