I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
