I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think my moral compass just broke
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
