there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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