She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
well you can't waste a boner
it glows. i had to have it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
