He passed out mid-signature
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
