Fuck appropriateness.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
