I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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