Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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