Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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