It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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