dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
