I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
