Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm at about main and main street
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
